I went to a viewing the other night. Hold the condolences, it was not for someone I really knew. With out dragging you through my whole family tree, it was my mom's cousin's wife's mother. Everyone called her Omi. My only memory of her, and her now deceased husband Opi, is from when I was about 8. We were at a birthday party for my Great Uncle (Omi was his daughter-in-law's mom - am I confusing you yet?). The party was at a local VFW and for whatever reason I was hanging out at the VFW's bar. Ok, alright, I was behind the bar helping myself to the soda. While back there Omi & Opi came over and asked for drinks in that fun grandparent-sort of way. They taught me how to make a screw driver! Seriously! I must have done well because Opi kept coming back. I swear for the rest of the party I was the bar tender. Real funny memory for me.
Anyway, Omi is not really the point of my post. Funerals, specifically viewings is the point of this post. I've been to more then I can count. It is sad but to be honest I don't mind going. I think they are important, a way to show our respect for the deceased and our love and compassion for those left to mourn. Its not to say I enjoy going, I don't but they are easy for me; it feels appropriate and the right thing to do. They don't stress me out like they probably do most. But here is my...........problem? Weird quirk causing me to post?
I think I smile too much at viewings. I don't cry easily, or at least not when perhaps one should. Ask me to flash a smile for a photo and it feels forced and awkward. Put me at a viewing and I smile real easily. I can't seem to do a sympathetic smile. My natural reaction at viewing is a nice bright smile. I think I feel like people have had enough sympathetic and would rather see someone who is not looking sorry for them. Does that make sense?
Am I freaky? Is this wrong? Should I be trying to look like I am pitying the people left behind?
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4 comments:
I am laughing at this post Roxy....imagining you grinning absurdly at people....people trying to figure you out and what you are thinking....I love it!!
Keep on smiling..I've been to countless viewings and funerals too and I'd MUCH rather see a smiling face than all the doom and gloom.
I'm sure the deceased would too right? After all, they are in a much better place now.....and I'm hoping are happy about where they are....we should be happy for them. Its what they would want right?
I think everyone has a different way of dealing with certain situations and it doesn't make you weird at all. I wish I was more like that. Instead, even if I don't know the person, just the sound of the sad music in the background makes me tear up and cry. I'm too emotional for my own good sometimes.
Thanks, gals!
I had the same reaction as Holli initially as I was reading this, lol!
Anyhoo, I think if you were smiling absurdly as we both pictured, then I would tell you to please stop because it's extremely inappropriate! Since that's not what you're doing, I think you are fine as you are! Sometimes a gentle smile helps so much during such a difficult & uncomfortable time. (Unless the situation is of overwhelming grief like last July when we went to our friends sons viewing, funeral & wake - he was only 8 - no one could smile and even afterwards when we all gathered at a local restaurant, when someone smiled, it was so painful & brought so many tears.)
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