Bucket

I will admit it my 3 year son learned a few of the dreaded swear words relatively early. And yes, I can admit that it’s because I could curb my use of them when angry enough. But by 3 he was “old enough” for me to explain to him that certain words are bad words. Only grown-ups can use bad words and its not very nice when they do.

He got the message and stop muttering things like “F*ckin’ marker won’t work” under his breath. FYI – apparently I mutter f*ckin’ (fill in appropriate object of annoyance here) under my breath a lot. But now, he has taken to making up his own swear words. He won’t admit that is what he is doing but, well, a mom can tell. Case in point, here is a conversation between myself and my adorably annoying (he is 3, just being honest) 3 year old son.

[mommy working on her laptop.]
[Alright!! I was checking my Facebook. Quit buggin’ me]
[son begins driving motorcycle toy on mommy’s laptop]
Me: “Please stop touching my laptop.” (said firm but nice-ish. It’d been a long day)
3yr Old: “I no touchin it. Da modadyle is.” (translation, I not touching it. The motorcycle is.)
Me: “Please take your motorcycle off my laptop.” (said more firmly, less nice-ish)
3yr Old: (ignores mommy. Friggin’ standard lately!!! Major pet peeve for mommy!)
Me: “get your motorcycle off my laptop!” (no nice-ish, just anger)
3yr Old: (groans in annoyance and mutters) “Bucket” (emphasis on the Ba sound. Sound familiar to anyone?)
Me: “what did you say?”
3yr Old: “Bucket” (in same tone)
Me: “I don’t like they way you are saying that.”
3yr Old: “wha?” (innocence peaking through)
Me: “I think you are using in place of a bad word. I don’t like it!”
3yr Old: (shaking his head in defense and shrugging his shoulders in that cute way he does). “No. A bucket is dumdin you put dand in.” Translation: A bucket is something you put sand in.(said with complete 3 year old innocence and walks away)
Me: (left fuming and banging head on table)